A Softer Heart, a Stronger Body

Love builds what outrage breaks.

Regina Kelley NTP BND

During this time of year, most influencers are talking about New Year resolutions. The common ones are losing weight, exercising, eating better and the like. My resolution for this year is different: I resolve to be more loving, more thoughtful, more kind. I cannot think of a better way to improve the health of my whole being: spirit, mind and body.

The age we live in keeps offering us a cheap identity rooted in division: pick a side, pick an enemy, pick a label, then defend it like it is your life. Left versus right, Democrat versus Republican, my candidate versus your candidate, one religion or doctrine versus another, men versus women, and the list never stops because division is a business model.

This perpetual disagreement keeps people loud, frustrated and reactive. God’s way is different. He calls His people to a higher allegiance than any tribe or agenda, and a deeper strength than loud outrage. Scripture does not say, “Win every argument.” It says, “Pursue peace with all people” (Hebrews 12:14, NKJV). It says to be “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3, NKJV). That word “endeavoring” matters. It means to be prompt or speedy in making an effort.

Unity is not automatic, it is chosen and pursued. Peace is not passivity, it is power under control. When our stubborn certainty is of more value than our debt of love, division is the result. Division does not only break down relationships and communities, it breaks the people themselves.

When your heart is trained for constant conflict, your nervous system lives on alert. Your body stays braced in “flight or fight” mode. Stress hormones rise, sleep gets lighter, digestion slows, inflammation climbs, and your mind starts scanning for danger even when you are, in reality, safe.

All of this is holistically dangerous to the health of your body. You might call it “being informed,” but your body often experiences it as warfare. That is why division can cause physical health problems, but even that is the smaller issue.

The bigger issue is spiritual.

Division reshapes the spirit. It teaches you to sort humans into categories, to suspect motives, to assign blame, to reduce image bearers into headlines. It slowly replaces discernment with disgust. It makes you feel righteous while it hardens you at your core. And a hardened heart cannot love well, cannot hear God clearly, cannot carry authority cleanly.

Love, on the other hand, builds. The Bible is blunt about what actually strengthens a person and a community. “Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies” (1 Corinthians 8:1, NKJV). Love is not the soft option, there is nothing more powerful. Love is the principle thing because it is the nature of God, and it is the atmosphere where truth can be carried without arrogance and crushing others. Love does not require you to agree with everything. It requires you to treat people like they matter: to be quick to listen, to speak with restraint, refuse slander, refuse dehumanizing language, and stay anchored when others want you activated.

Jesus prayed for unity because He knew division would be one of the enemy’s most effective weapons. He asked the Father, “that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You” (John 17:21, NKJV). He was not calling for uniformity or groupthink. He was calling for a Spirit formed oneness, believers anchored to one another the way He is anchored to the Father. That kind of unity becomes a living witness in a fractured world, it makes the reality of God visible, not just theoretical. And notice how high Jesus sets the standard. He does not compare our unity to a club, a movement, or a shared opinion. He compares it to His own oneness with the Father. That is how much it matters.

If you want a simple way to test what is shaping your actions, pause after you watch a clip, read a post, or have a conversation and ask yourself: Is this producing the fruit of the Spirit in me, or is it producing suspicion, contempt, and a need to win? That one question has transformed the way I interact online. I scroll past the combative comment sections. I stop myself from jumping into debates I know will only stir my flesh or cause a reaction in others. And when someone sees the world differently than I do, I practice something better than a quick comeback, I pray blessing over them.

There is a surprising freedom in this. Less heat in my heart, more peace in my body, and a steadier spirit that feels like it can finally breathe.

“For the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control” (Galatians 5:22–23, NKJV). If the fruit is not there, the root is off, even if the facts are right. God is calling His people back to an old path that still works; truth with love, conviction with humility, strength with gentleness, and peace pursued on purpose.

So as the New Year is upon us, I am not here to shame the usual resolutions. Taking stewardship seriously matters. Eat better, move more, sleep on purpose, and build habits you can keep. But I am also convinced that many people fail their health goals for a deeper reason than carbs or calories. They are trying to heal their bodies while their hearts stay in constant friction, offense, and strain.

This year, let love be the resolution underneath every other one. Make it your daily practice, not a vague feeling. Choose peace when it would be easier to argue. Choose humility when your ego wants to be right. Choose honor in your words, even when you disagree. Choose to be quick to listen and slow to speak. These are not small spiritual details. They shape your nervous system, your relationships, your sleep, your digestion, and your ability to carry truth without becoming harsh.

This year, let love be the resolution underneath every other one. Make it your daily practice, not a vague feeling. Choose peace when it would be easier to argue. Choose humility when your ego wants to be right. Choose honor in your words, even when you disagree. Choose to be quick to listen and slow to speak. These are not small spiritual details. They shape your nervous system, your relationships, your sleep, your digestion, and your ability to carry truth without becoming harsh.

In a divided age, loving well is not weakness. It is maturity. It is obedience. It is spiritual strength, and it is one of the most practical health decisions you can make. So if you are picking a resolution this year, do not just pick a goal. Choose peace pursued on purpose. And when you do, you will not only feel better in your body, you will look more like Jesus in a world desperate to see Him.

Regina Kelley is a Christian holistic health practitioner who believes in healing from the inside out: Spirit, mind, and body. As a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, Christian Herbalist, and Biblical Naturopathic Doctor she guides others toward lasting wellness rooted in faith, truth, and natural principles. She has a passion for helping others rebuild strength and vitality so they can live fully in their God given purpose.